I had a very bad marriage so bad i dont know if I improved?

My first marriage ended at 5 yrs because he was cheating and brought the women in my home when i was gone. It was bad and he cheated before that even when i was pregnant. My moms first marriage to my dad was bad and her second marriage which she has stayed in 24 yrs also. So i have never even had an idea of what a good marriage looks like. When i married my second husband i was very happy and at times still am. Weve been married 6 yrs but two yrs into the marriage he started name calling me here and there. He still does last month it was almost everyday. Then he apologized and didnt do it for two wks Then tonight he called me fat *** in an argument. My husband is awesome other than the name calling but its hard to be with someone when im always wondering why they are with me? He makes good money is a good dad. He's very clean He does lots of considerate things for me like buys me coffee before work ect. But the name calling has me thinking im crazy I feel love by his actions but i dont hear it with his words. He rarely says he loves me Im ok with it as long as he shows me. But when he puts me down its like he earases all the good. For reason I listed above him being clean great dad ect. I think I did a lot better than my 1st marriage. But since I really dont know what a good marriage is? Did i really do better am I in a good marriage. One day i love him to death 2 days later i want a divorce. Then i love him again. Its hard to know anything when you feel like your on a rollercoaster. But one thing is constant the name calling doesnt nessasarily mean he doesnt love me But he definitely doesnt respect me.